Nice post, Alex. I have 99% negative emotionality on the Big 5 personality test ( https://www.outofservice.com/bigfive/ ), so this post resonates. Too much phone addiction is part of it, although genetics plays a role too and I also feel more *alive* when anxious. I have a couple books on phone addiction to read, and will add your books on anxiety to the list. When I get overwhelmed what I try to do is develop tunnel vision to only focus on the task at hand; I can only do what I can do, right?
It's also interesting you state "Instead, pay attention to what [stress is] doing. Get curious." Because this perspective is turning me to focus on Carl Jung's incorporation of the unconscious, the blending of one's thinking, feeling, senses and intuition together into a synergistic and higher-level whole, and toward the individuation process...
Interesting perspective! I think you'll really like Dr Brewer's book. He goes deep into the way that anxiety can become its own kind of addiction. Even though it's unpleasant, it feels familiar, and we associate it with positive outcomes - in your case, focus and productivity. He compares it to running an engine on dirty fuel. It might be effective, but you have no idea how powerful the engine would be if you used a cleaner fuel.
I have a lot to say about the big five personality factors, but I'll save that for another post. Knowing that you're a fan of history, I'll just point out that Genghis Khan, Napoleon, Charles de Gaulle, and many other major leaders were very low in agreeableness. It's part of why they were able to relentlessly pursue their goals without worrying about making other people upset. The catch is that they were also high in extraversion and very low in neuroticism. If you think about less effective leaders, such as Jimmy Carter, who is high in agreeableness, or Richard Nixon, who was low in extraversion, you can see a pretty clear pattern.
I don't eggsactly practice "mindfulness" (I just try ta keep makin' that ol' fashioned lemonade...) BUT I have learned that if ya make nice with yer inner elephant (kinda tantamount ta what yer sayin') ya fare far better...
I'll share a real life example too! So... my hubby as a kid knew a kind an' perky lady that did PR fer Ringling Bros. an' he got ta go backstage an' "meet" the elephants quite a few times as he was growin' up-- He learned (contrary ta popular PETA-like politicized publicity) that R.Bros had begun usin' positive / clicker trainin' (treats, rewards only good stuff!) fer literally decades to be able to work with the elephants SAFELY (they abandoned that cursed "hook" back in the 40s) so fwiw as a tangent that whole movement ta close down circuses was a con (just as they're figgerin' a way to closed down live entertainment, museums/moo-see-ums etc for similar baloney-like motives--ultimately ta strip down our sense of wonder an' culture ta VR simulations which reduce who we are... tangent ovuh) BUT/anywhoo, those elephants were HAPPY to work with humans an' his friend the PR laydee would have the elephant lift her up an' hold her there--as the display of affection was mutually enjoyed by herself, the elephant, an' my hubby as a big-eyed kid. --Were talkin' bout a tiny laydee--barely 5' tall -- who never felt unsafe with the elephant (now on the subway at night yes, she'd feel unsafe, but bein' lifted up by a massive pachyderm, nix!) and again, she did this all the time). For the little schtick she'd give a big smootch on his wrinkly cheek; clearly her circus pals had shown her how ta do this safely but I think as ya said, there was once a connection an' like with dogs--one of mutual benefit!
SO... circus folks (the responsible ones which were the norm in the USA at least) stopped usin' force & hooks (that poked the pachyderms!) an' thus humans (tho' careful not ta step where an elephant could stomp on them by accident which could be deadly) learned a Kipling-like lesson that most "jungle-out-there-fearful" phone-obsessed easily triggered fools never larned--calm 'round BIG issues or ideas however "menacin'" or intimidatin' they may seem, kindness (some of these triggered folks are the nastiest cusses 'round), an' too that we are TOTALLY capable of keepin' a level head 'round them humongous elephants, "real" an' metaphorical!
(fwiw I think the current situation is not unlike provokin' STAMPEDE of angry elephants... folks are sharpenin' spears fer the comb-over ELELPHANT that appears to have won the "election" an' my are they all riled up an' sore! I'm wartchin' the self-indulgent waterfalls of crocodile tears an' real conniptions!)
if the Brooklyn Bridge kin stand 21 elephants--an' my indeed it did! then we all kin too!
glad ya liked it Alex an' stickin' ta the circus theme--if we DO make like Timothy Q. Mouse & befriend "our" inner elephants then the fabulous Barbara Cook might just sing about it! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEnjpE3PX7c
Nice post, Alex. I have 99% negative emotionality on the Big 5 personality test ( https://www.outofservice.com/bigfive/ ), so this post resonates. Too much phone addiction is part of it, although genetics plays a role too and I also feel more *alive* when anxious. I have a couple books on phone addiction to read, and will add your books on anxiety to the list. When I get overwhelmed what I try to do is develop tunnel vision to only focus on the task at hand; I can only do what I can do, right?
It's also interesting you state "Instead, pay attention to what [stress is] doing. Get curious." Because this perspective is turning me to focus on Carl Jung's incorporation of the unconscious, the blending of one's thinking, feeling, senses and intuition together into a synergistic and higher-level whole, and toward the individuation process...
Interesting perspective! I think you'll really like Dr Brewer's book. He goes deep into the way that anxiety can become its own kind of addiction. Even though it's unpleasant, it feels familiar, and we associate it with positive outcomes - in your case, focus and productivity. He compares it to running an engine on dirty fuel. It might be effective, but you have no idea how powerful the engine would be if you used a cleaner fuel.
I have a lot to say about the big five personality factors, but I'll save that for another post. Knowing that you're a fan of history, I'll just point out that Genghis Khan, Napoleon, Charles de Gaulle, and many other major leaders were very low in agreeableness. It's part of why they were able to relentlessly pursue their goals without worrying about making other people upset. The catch is that they were also high in extraversion and very low in neuroticism. If you think about less effective leaders, such as Jimmy Carter, who is high in agreeableness, or Richard Nixon, who was low in extraversion, you can see a pretty clear pattern.
Great analogy!
I don't eggsactly practice "mindfulness" (I just try ta keep makin' that ol' fashioned lemonade...) BUT I have learned that if ya make nice with yer inner elephant (kinda tantamount ta what yer sayin') ya fare far better...
I'll share a real life example too! So... my hubby as a kid knew a kind an' perky lady that did PR fer Ringling Bros. an' he got ta go backstage an' "meet" the elephants quite a few times as he was growin' up-- He learned (contrary ta popular PETA-like politicized publicity) that R.Bros had begun usin' positive / clicker trainin' (treats, rewards only good stuff!) fer literally decades to be able to work with the elephants SAFELY (they abandoned that cursed "hook" back in the 40s) so fwiw as a tangent that whole movement ta close down circuses was a con (just as they're figgerin' a way to closed down live entertainment, museums/moo-see-ums etc for similar baloney-like motives--ultimately ta strip down our sense of wonder an' culture ta VR simulations which reduce who we are... tangent ovuh) BUT/anywhoo, those elephants were HAPPY to work with humans an' his friend the PR laydee would have the elephant lift her up an' hold her there--as the display of affection was mutually enjoyed by herself, the elephant, an' my hubby as a big-eyed kid. --Were talkin' bout a tiny laydee--barely 5' tall -- who never felt unsafe with the elephant (now on the subway at night yes, she'd feel unsafe, but bein' lifted up by a massive pachyderm, nix!) and again, she did this all the time). For the little schtick she'd give a big smootch on his wrinkly cheek; clearly her circus pals had shown her how ta do this safely but I think as ya said, there was once a connection an' like with dogs--one of mutual benefit!
SO... circus folks (the responsible ones which were the norm in the USA at least) stopped usin' force & hooks (that poked the pachyderms!) an' thus humans (tho' careful not ta step where an elephant could stomp on them by accident which could be deadly) learned a Kipling-like lesson that most "jungle-out-there-fearful" phone-obsessed easily triggered fools never larned--calm 'round BIG issues or ideas however "menacin'" or intimidatin' they may seem, kindness (some of these triggered folks are the nastiest cusses 'round), an' too that we are TOTALLY capable of keepin' a level head 'round them humongous elephants, "real" an' metaphorical!
(fwiw I think the current situation is not unlike provokin' STAMPEDE of angry elephants... folks are sharpenin' spears fer the comb-over ELELPHANT that appears to have won the "election" an' my are they all riled up an' sore! I'm wartchin' the self-indulgent waterfalls of crocodile tears an' real conniptions!)
if the Brooklyn Bridge kin stand 21 elephants--an' my indeed it did! then we all kin too!
(an' god bless PT Barnum AND the circus!)
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/us-news/how-21-elephants-solved-panic-29987204
What a heartwarming story, and a fantastic extension for the analogy. Also, great use of the word "pachyderm." Wish I'd thought to do that!
glad ya liked it Alex an' stickin' ta the circus theme--if we DO make like Timothy Q. Mouse & befriend "our" inner elephants then the fabulous Barbara Cook might just sing about it! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEnjpE3PX7c
This is such a helpful explanation, really easy to follow and hopeful in its conclusions. Thanks so much!
I'm glad you enjoyed it! My goal is to make things simple enough for me to understand 😄
🏆🙌🏻😁